Incomplete laughter

I laughed, but not with my whole heart.. 

Its been a while since you left me.

Stunned. 

My memories of you are varied, 

Some happy some angry. 

I had forgotten that I love you. 

My blood. 

Just before going you won my heart. 

I now (after years) I wanted to be with you, listen to you. 

I wanted to hear stories of a full life, but you don't speak anymore. 

Mute. 

With a jovial heart, with a smile on my face. 

I went forth and carried you.

(Not like you did when  I was a child)

Burnt your body.  Along with smoke memories arise. 

Ashes.. Ashes.  

(Life continues)

Today after days I laughed..

It was real, my joy. 

But something had changed. 

An incomplete laughter?